God’s Presence > My Awareness

WELCOME
Pastor Chris Paavola:
Wonderful, wonderful guys. Great to be with you. Good morning, mercy once again. Yeah, great to be with you. My name’s Chris Paval. I’m the senior pastor here at St. Mark and we are in the middle of a series called Greater Than where we’re journeying along the life of this man named Jacob 4,000 years ago. And we’re discovering as he does a life greater than we know with a God who’s greater than we know. And in this series we don’t really set the topic that we’re going to talk about. We don’t decide, hey, this is the thing that like in cherry pick sections of scripture, really we just read the story and whatever happens in the narrative, that’s what we talk about. And so today as we read the story, it brings us to this place where we are confronted with this kind a hard truth, the thing that every person of faith or any kind of faith journey eventually has to wrestle with.

WHEN GOD FEELS FAR AWAY
And it’s the question of what do you do when God feels far away? Because Jacob, we kind of forget this because like printed in the Bible that it’s not something that we look for when we’re reading the story. But up to this point, Jacob has had no interaction or encounter directly with God. Everything he’s heard about God up to this point has been sitting around the campfire listening to his grandfather Abraham, talk about who God is and what God has done and what God has promised. And then maybe on long Camel rides with his dad, Isaac, he heard Isaac talk about who God is and what God sounds like and what he said and what he promised. But up to this point, there’s been nothing recorded of an interaction that Jacob had with God. And so it’s all kind of secondhand. It’s not really his faith, it’s his parents’ faith.

JACOB’S BACKSTORY
And he’s this guy who is a swindler. He’s a cheat con artist, snake oil salesman. This is who Jacob is, and he’s not really following this whole God thing. He’s just, this is his parents’ faith. And in this story we’re presented with just this truth and this question of really what do you do when God feels far away? And it’s a question, Jacob’s story helps us ask and start to answer. And so if you’re here today and God feels far away for whatever reason, maybe you’re going through some drama right now with your family, maybe you’ve got a personal health crisis going on and it just feels like God is detached or disinterested or disengaged from your life and God feels far away. Well today you’re here on a good day, or maybe you’re just kind of, that life is too busy. You’re too busy getting the kids ready for day camp or whatever.

You’re too busy getting meals cooked and doing laundry and running to pickleball and whatever it else it looks like. And so you’re just way too busy to have time to even in the margins, to find time to think about God and God just feels far away because you don’t have time for him. You picked a great day to be here. Or maybe you’re looking into faith, you’re just looking into this whole Christianity Jesus thing and you’re not sure, and this has been mom’s faith or this has been your uncle’s faith, but it’s not necessarily your faith and you’re just not sure what you think about all this. And you’re kind of looking in and God feels kind of far away from you, or the concept of a relationship with God just feels so detached and unrealistic for your life. You picked a great day to be here.

Today we’re going to talk about when God feels far away. Now, before we get into this story, we should probably do just a quick backstory of Jacob to be able to look at this section together. So refresh your memory or bring you up to speed. Jacob is he, he’s the son of this guy named Isaac who is the son of a guy named Abraham, but Jacob isn’t his only son. He’s actually a twin and he’s got two twin boys, right? You’ve got the oldest whose name is Esau and then Jacob and Esau as the firstborn. He comes out of the womb. First is the rightful heir to all of his father’s wealth. Isaac is a very wealthy guy, hundreds of millions of dollars in today’s translation. So he’s the rightful heir to Isaac’s wealth, but also he’s the rightful heir to this messianic blessing that through you Abraham, through you Isaac, and through your children and will come the Messiah.

And Esau is the rightful heir to have the lineage of Jesus come through him and bless all nations until Jacob steals the blessing and the birthright. And he does it through all sorts of manipulation and conniving. And his name Jacob actually in Hebrew sounds like the deceiver. So he is like this deceptive dude and he cons his brother and he tricks his father to get the blessing that was rightfully his brothers. And Jacob finds out about it and vows that he is going to take the life of this kid in the room. So I’ll be gentle. But he vows that he’s going to take the life of his brother Jacob. And it’s kind of one of those moments where, boy, that escalated quickly. I mean that really got out of hand fast. And so Jacob in fear of his life, flees from Southern Israel down by the border of modern day Egypt and goes all the way up towards and is running towards his uncle’s house up in modern day eastern Turkey, Syria, kind of that area, and it’s a very rugged, very arid desert region.

And so Jacob is fleeing into disgrace, but also to preserve his life, flees from his brother and goes through the desert and where he collapses from exhaustion. This is actually a common story that we see in literature and film, right? Somebody who is a disgraced figure leaves that area and goes to forge a new life because they’re embarrassed and they go live in the desolate wilderness. This is Simba running away to go live with Timon and Pumba. Okay? This is Elsa running away to go live in the Ice Castle, more of my generation. This is Rambo fellas. Rambo going to live in the woods, so that’s who this is, okay? He’s a disgraced figure running away, going off to live remotely by himself. He wants to forge a new life. That’s what’s happening with Jacob here. And while he’s in the wilderness running for his life, we get this perception or just kind of like it’s intimated that he collapses in exhaustion. So much so that he uses a rock for a pillow. And that’s where we get this account where we can discover what to do when God feels far away.

GENESIS 28
This comes from Genesis 28, beginning at verse 12.

He had a dream in which he saw a stairway resting on the earth, with its top reaching to heaven, and the angels of God were ascending and descending on it. 13 There above it stood the Lord, and he said: “I am the Lord, the God of your father Abraham and the God of Isaac. 15 I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.”
Genesis 28

“He had a dream in which he saw a stairway resting on the earth with its top reaching to heaven and the angels of God were ascending and descending on it.” I love this image because in the ancient world, God or the Gods were always in inaccessible places, right? They were down in the ocean depths where you couldn’t reach them. The gods were up on them, unscalable mountain where you couldn’t see them and touch them. Gods were up in the stars with Orion and the big Dipper. That’s where the gods were, and they were inaccessible to us, puny humans. And the image that Jacob gets is that image that God is that great and grandiose, but that he’s accessible.

It’s not an unscalable wall between us. He’s not up in a tower that we can’t climb. No, he’s on a staircase, he’s on a ladder. And this is what is here for known as Jacob’s Ladder. And so this ladder reaches, and it’s not so much that the ladder reaches up to heaven, it’s this image that we get that the ladder reaches down to the earth. God is approachable to this man named Jacob. And it’s fascinating. And then it says above, it stood the Lord. And I love this, right? So you got this ladder that reaches up to the big Dipper and there above it is the Lord and he’s that’s powering that holy, that powerful and mighty. And Jacob suddenly sees, oh my goodness, it’s true. Everything dad said is true. Everything my grandpa said is true. That’s how awesome he is. And you get this idea, it’s this awakening moment for him, both figuratively and literally.

It’s like when you go on a trip and you take, let’s say you go to New England in the fall and you take pictures of the fall colors or you go to the Grand Canyon, you take a picture, you go to a lake and you take a picture of the sunset, and then you show that picture to your friends and you’re like, Hey, look. And they’re kind of like, nah. And you go, no, no, no, no, you had to, these pictures don’t do it, right? We know exactly what, and that’s kind of the image that we get. He’s like, holy smokes. It is this amazing it. He is this powerful. The word that he uses later on is it was terrifying. And he says, how awesome. And they’re judicious with their words they don’t use. We always go to the top shelf for words to describe things like that dessert was amazing or exceptional, and we’re reaching at these top shelf words where really that dessert was amazing.

It left you breathless and speechless. No, but when scripture uses words, it is much more to the point and judicious. And so God is that awesome. And then he says to Jacob, “I am the Lord, the God of your father Abraham and the God of Isaac.” So here we go. I’m the God who spoke to your grandpa. I’m the God who spoke to your father. Now I’m talking to you, Jacob. I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go. I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I’ve done what I have promised you. And Jacob is hit with two realities. One God’s greater than he knows, but then he is hit with another reality. It’s the first thing he says when he wakes up. And that’s the next verse, verse 16, Jacob woke up suddenly and thought, the Lord is in this place.

 16 When Jacob awoke from his sleep, he thought, “Surely the Lord is in this place, and I was not aware of it.”
Genesis 28

And I didn’t know it. The other translations translate this as I was unaware. I didn’t realize I was right. I didn’t know that God one was this great, but two is this close, this presence, this real God’s presence is greater than his awareness. And that’s the reality that’s like pressed upon him and that’s pressed upon us.

GOD IS CLOSER THAN YOU KNOW
God is closer than think of how close you think God is. Whoever you are, wherever you are in this faith or anything, maybe God is like You think I’ve walked with him all my life. This is who every day I’m with him or I’m just looking into this thing. Or I used to follow God or my parents follow God, but I’m not so sure about me. Whatever God is to you, the reality of this story pushes on you is you have no idea just how close he is, like he’s closer than your skin, closer than your breath, closer than your thoughts and even your dreams.

That’s how close God is to you. And that’s the principle that needs to be pressed on us this morning when God feels far away. And we will talk in the future about reasons why God feels far away and what you can do to feel closer or to draw closer to God. That’s an important topic that we can talk about someday. But the foundational principle that this text pushes on us and wants us to recognize before we talk about the how to is to just accept the reality that God is closer than so back to the different times of life that God feels far away. Maybe you’re just too busy and you can’t put away these demands at work and you can’t put away these demands around the house and the laundry and the dishes and the vacuuming and the kids that are feed me, feed me, feed me all the time.

But even in those moments where you can’t find time in those margins to create space for God, he’s closer than. And if you’re in a season where you’ve got family drama that is just weighing you down or some personal medical issue that is just, is God punishing me? Why would God do this? God is closer than you. No. And if you’re sitting there thinking, I don’t know, this is mom’s faith, this is Dad’s faith. I don’t know if this is my faith. Talk to Jacob. He would tell you God is closer than you know can try to outrun him, but he is ever present. You might be ashamed of some of the things you’ve done and you’re thinking that God could never love me. Look at what these horrible things I’ve done, but God is so much closer than you know He is.

YOUR SLUMBER
And what you’re feeling when you feel like God is far away is not uncommon. In fact, there’s people all around you in this room who have been there, done that, bought the T-shirt. And when you look in scripture, this concept, this idea, this reality is like it’s commonplace. In fact, if you open the Psalms, which are poems and Psalms or Psalm written by followers, by followers of Jesus and followers of God, they are brutally honest boldly, so audaciously, so of how they’re feeling time and time again.

8  You have said, “Seek 4 my face.” My heart says to you, “Your face, Lord, do I seek.”5 9  Hide not your face from me. Turn not your servant away in anger, O you who have been my help. Cast me not off; forsake me not, O God of my salvation!
Psalm 27

 “How long, O Lord, will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day?”
Psalm 13

 “Return, O Lord. How long? Have pity on your servants. Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love.”
Psalm 90

And this is just three of them. But just take a look at some of these Psalm 13 verse one, “how long, oh Lord, will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?” You feel far away. Psalm 42, verse three, “my tears have been my food day and night.  While, all day long folks say to me, where is your God?”

You feel far away from me. Psalm 77, 8 through nine “Has God’s unfailing love vanished forever? Has his promise failed? Has God forgotten to be merciful? Has he in anger withheld his compassion from me?” God feels far away. And you look at this, and I know it begs a question 100%, it begs the question, why would God give us this kind of experience? Why wouldn’t God swoop in and give us flashing lights and dreams? Why wouldn’t God show up in a appear for like He did with my father Abraham and my father Isaac? And why won’t God just make himself evident and appear and why does he feel so far away?

We could talk about that. There’s one answer that I would propose to you this morning. As somebody who’s followed Jesus for a few decades now, and the moments when God feels far away, I think God wants to be with us in the mundane that God wants to be with us in the dull Tuesday afternoon, that God wants to be with us in the doctor’s office and the lawyer’s office and the therapist’s office that God wants to be with us there too. And in fact, flip it. Flip it. Think about if God was only close when we felt him, when we had the warm fuzzies and the mountaintop experience, then God would be subjugated to our feelings. How terrifying is that thought that I’ve got to feel good and have the goosebumps and the warm tingly and holy Spirit come down, come down. I don’t feel you yet. I got to keep praying. I got to keep praising until I feel something and then God appears. But over and over, the message in scripture is I am with you even when you’re feeling far away. In fact, for as many times as the psalmists ask, why are you? Where are you Lord? How long? Where have you been? I cry out to you. I look for you. You feel far away. God repeats over and over ad nauseum like he did to Jacob in Genesis 28, verse 15, I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go. He says it through the prophets and through the Psalms. Same concept like in Isaiah 41, verse 10, “don’t be afraid for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged for I am your God.”

15 I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go…
Genesis 28

And then that message is repeated again by Emmanuel, Jesus, God with us. He is the word made flesh who dwells among us, who gets pimples and gets sick and has weird aunts and uncles who drive him crazy. He’s God with us. And after he lives a perfect life, he dies a perfect death on a cross, which by the way is once again another Jacob’s ladder. It’s not so much man ascending to God. It’s God coming down and becoming accessible to us, touching the earth with his love. And after he rises from the grave, before he ascends to heaven, he repeats the same message he’s been repeating for thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands of Years. I am with you always to the very end of the age. You are not alone. In other words, God is closer than you know.

And when Jacob experiences this, it changes his life. And just kind notice this as we go ahead in the weeks to come. Just notice this. As you watch Jacob, there seems to be a little bit of a change in him. He’s not so conniving, he so deceptive, so manipulative. There’s a change in him because he realizes how close God is and it changes the way he practices justice to others. It changes the way he handles his money. It changes the way he treats people and responds to situations. There’s just this change in him simply because he’s aware.

GOD IS CLOSER THAN YOU KNOW 

YOUR AWAKENING
And my prayer for you would be the same, that this reality of this principle, this foundational truth, that God is closer than would start to change the way you live. And so the difference is not God coming closer to us. The difference is us being aware of him. And we see all throughout scripture, people praying this prayer to realize, to recognize what they did not know. We see it with Jacob, but then we see it again with a guy named Elisha who prays open our eyes that we may see. And he sees angels and chariots of fire all around him. The disciples as they’re walking with Jesus that talks about how their eyes were opened and they see and they believe.

And then the Apostle Paul prays a prayer for a small church gathered in a town called Ephesus. He says, I pray that the eyes of your heart may be opened just like Jacob, figuratively and literally to see God. And that’s what we’re going to do to close our time together. I usually pray for you guys and I pray, and then you listen and then we sing a song. But today what I’d like to do is a little bit different. I’m going to ask Xin to come back up here and lead us in a song. This is such a simple song and it repeats. It’s called Open the Eyes of my Heart. And this song, I guess you could call it a classic. Now, it came out when I was younger in high school, and so that would put it decades old. It would be on the oldie station at this point. Anyway, but we’re going to sing the song. So on the point, it’s so on the nose of what we’re talking about today, and it’s a prayer. And so as you sing these words, don’t just sing them, pray them, pray these words, and I believe this is a prayer that God is more than happy to answer. So I invite you to stand as we pray and sing together.

Xylinn Zubaly (Singing):

Open the eyes of my heart Lord,
Open the eyes of my heart,
I want to see you,
I want to see you

Open the eyes of my heart Lord,
Open the eyes of my heart,
I want to see you,
I want to see you.

To see you high and lifted up,
Shining in the light of your glory,
Pour out your power and love,
As we sing Holy, Holy, Holy.

Open the eyes of my heart Lord,
Open the eyes of my heart,
I want to see you,
I want to see you

PRAYER
Pastor Chris Paavola:
Lord. That’s our prayer, that you would open our eyes, that we may see you. I pray for every person who’s in this room, everyone who’s watching online or who hears the sound of my voice later on, especially for those who would say that you feel far away. God, your word says that you are present and that you are close. So it’s not so much we’re asking you to come to us as I’m asking for them, that you would open their eyes to see just how close you are and their questions and their difficult circumstance and their busyness on their mundane Tuesday afternoon. Let them know more than just feel. Let them know that you are present and you are near. Your son taught us a prayer to pray, and it includes this phrase that thy kingdom come. And I pray that this morning, indeed, your kingdom would come to each and every person in this room as we pray the words He taught us to pray, saying, our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation. Deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever and ever. Amen.