Setbacks

WELCOME

Pastor Chris Paavola:

Thank Tom for his work. Thanks for the good news, man. It’s just such a positive Sunday morning. Everyone’s uplifted and feeling good right now. Yeah. Hey everybody. Good morning. Good morning. My name’s Chris Paavola. Good to be with you guys today. Yeah, we’re in this series under construction where we’re talking about the process of being like Jesus and becoming like Jesus. And we just thought we would embrace the metaphor of all of the construction and instead of just trying to pretend it’s not there or cover it up and just embrace it for what it is and let it kind of instruct and inform what it means for us to become Jesus, how we can move forward like this. And we plan series months in advance, right months in advance. We’re sitting there and we’re thinking about what we want to do and we sketch out like, okay, this is the verses I think we want to preach on and these are the big ideas each week.

And then we design graphics and we pick music and all of this is well in advance. And so we were like, okay, week one, we should talk about a blueprints. Every project begins with blueprints and we have a blueprint of being like Jesus. And then week two will be like demolition, right? We got to break some stuff to do any kind of renovation and it’s true of us. And okay, that makes sense. And I guess maybe we should talk about setbacks because maybe we’ll have some setbacks along the way, not knowing that this is the exact week we’d be dealing with all of this stuff, man. All of these setbacks, whether it’s working with consumers or finding and discovering a septic tank, Tom didn’t even talk about that one or city permits and all that kind of stuff. And after this week I was like, okay, Lord, I got content now I know what it’s like.

SETBACKS

I know how to preach on setbacks. I don’t need any more metaphors. And then yesterday I was speaking at a conference in Little Rock and I’m at the airport and they delayed the flight a little bit. I’m like, oh boy. And then they delayed the flight again and then again, and I flew into Chicago. I flew into Chicago and I had two minutes to get to my gate. That scene in home alone where they’re sprinting through the airport, that was me running through the airport full on sprints. I got to the gate, the guy was shutting the door. He is like, oh, you want to come? And he’s like, okay, come on. And then he shut the door. I was that close, that tight. I’m getting on the plane and I’m like sweating. And I sit down and I was like, Lord, I have enough content I don’t need anymore.

I understand what setbacks are, Lord, I am good. I drove home then last night and I passed the parking lot that looks like Planet of the Apes. And I am like, Lord, we are ready to talk about setbacks. So thank you for all of that, Jesus. Because setbacks, I mean nobody likes them, right?

SETBACK

And in the process of becoming like Jesus, we’ve got to just talk about these setbacks in particular when we end up tripping up on the same old sins and we keep doing the things over and over that we try not to do, why is it so hard? And so if you’re a Christian and you’re like, why is it so hard for me to become like Jesus? We’re going to talk about that today. If you’re just kind of looking into Christianity and you’re going to hear why Christians are so not like Christ and why we keep on struggling today.

And I think not only are we going to talk about it, I promise you today that we’re going to get into some practical things. It’s not just going to be theoretical, practical things that you can walk out of here with to help you be more like Christ and in particular overcoming those sins that keep on tripping you up. So that’s what we’re going to talk about.

ROMANS 7

Now, if there’s a verse or a section in scripture that talks about this setback of stumbling and getting tripped up on sin, it is the quintessential example is this reading from Romans seven. So, if you have your Bible, you can turn to Romans seven.

19 I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do – this I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

                                                                                                                                           Romans 7

This is like the creme de la creme of just why we have this struggle of we want to be like Jesus, but we’re not. And it’s this reading that grant was doing. It’s kind of a tongue twister. “The sin I don’t want to do, I do”, do. And when I was a youth director, I told kids that this is the do section of script of the Bible. What you don’t want to do, you do-do. And then all the middle school boys laugh, but not you. Obviously that’s not very funny, but middle schoolers love it anyway, so it is a tongue twister and we don’t need to read the whole thing, but I think if there’s a sentence that’s the synopsis sentence or the summarizing sentence, it would be Romans seven verse 19. And here’s what he says, for “I do not do the good I want to do, I don’t,” but the evil, I don’t want to do this I keep on doing.”

Now if I do what I don’t want to do, it’s no longer I who do it, but it is say it sin living in me, that does it. You might not like that word. Maybe that word just comes with all sorts of baggage, but one of the primary definitions of sin is missing the mark, just missing the intent target. And so you understand that you don’t even meet your standards for you let alone God’s standards for you. You miss the mark, you fall short of it time and time again, and it’s sin that’s not to abdicate or exonerate us from any guilt. Like, well, I didn’t do it. It was just the sin in me that did it. That doesn’t hold up in a court of law, okay? You’re still on the hook for what you do. So full disclosure, but notice that sin is the source of your setback, not the symptom. Paul’s basically describing this, just mental jujitsu. I get it, but you’re not a sinner because you sin.

You sin because you’re a sinner. You have sinful flesh. It is who you are and your sinful flesh is at war with the Holy Spirit within you, and it is warfare and Lord pulling and tugging and this constant back and forth with each other. And that’s why you struggle with being like Jesus and you keep tripping up and doing the same thing again and again. Who wrote this? It’s not your question. Who wrote this? Paul. Paul. Paul as in St. Paul as in churches are named after him. Paul as in one of the most influential figures in history, Paul. And so if you are wondering why you struggle and why you keep doing the thing that you wish you didn’t do, but you keep doing, get in line. It starts with Paul. He’s first. And if Paul struggles with this, don’t be surprised if you struggle with this. So he is saying it’s sin and sin and the struggle, and this warfare isn’t fun. Setbacks are painful.

This back and forth, it’s tormenting. It feels disingenuous. You feel like a hypocrite, and it’s just this guilt. And then you’re angry at yourself and you’re combative with yourself. And Paul has a word to describe that. That’s the next word that he uses.

24 What a wretched man I am.

                                                                                                                                           Romans 7

He says in verse 24, “what a wretched man I am”, wretched. We just sang earlier in our service, we sang amazing grace, how sweet the sound. And then it’s like contrasted with this word that saved a wretch like me. If the song was written today, that word would not get through publishing companies because first of all, it’s an offensive word, but it’s not a common word on our vernacular. But I think that’s why this is one of the most well-known songs of all time in all the world because there’s something about it that rings true. Grace is so sweet and the sound, and yet I am a wretch.

There’s something in me that knows I don’t deserve this grace. That’s why it’s amazing. And something in me feels this torment, this struggle with the sin I keep on doing and the things I don’t want to do. I keep doing those things and it’s wretched. And that word wretched again, it just means this torment back and forth. And you think about our setbacks that we’ve been having or the setbacks that you are going through in your life, man, it’s wretched. And I just started trying to understand the struggle against sin and comparing it to the construction process and setbacks and why we don’t like setbacks, why it’s so wretched.

WHY WE DON’T LIKE SETBACKS

And so here is a list of why setbacks are wretched, why setbacks are not fun. Okay? Setbacks are wretched. These are just four I came up with and I was reading these on the plane on the way home last night and I’m just laughing. I’m like, yeah, this is everything that I’m feeling right now.

SETBACKS MEAN MORE COST

Number one, setbacks mean more cost. It costs you something, it costs us something. To put in a conduit now costs somebody something to pick up the helical piers and move them into 18 inches to the left. It costs someone something. And we don’t like that. When you make a construction budget, again, I’m new to this whole process, but you make your budget and then work in what’s called contingencies, and that’s usually around 15%. So you look at the number, you’re like, we’re good. And then you get 15% on that and you’re like, oh man, that number just went up and you hope you’re not going to use your contingency fund. But we’re a month in and we’re using our contingency funds. It’s not fun. And every setback comes with some kind of a cost.

And that’s true in any kind of a setback. If it’s like a relationship you’re working on or a setback in your career, it’s going to cost you something and that’s why you don’t like it.

SETBACKS MEAN MORE TIME

Now, the reason setbacks are wretched is it means more time, right? You had the schedule and maybe the end date. I think he’s still lying to me that we’re going to be done by Easter, and he’s just trying to make me feel good like, oh, we’ll be done by Easter pastor anyway, so it takes more time. And here we have now, we’re doing all of these things in between different mile markers in the project, and nobody likes that. It is that extra time that you just don’t want to give you ever do a home repair project or any kind of home renovation, then you have to run to Lowe’s.

And so you run to Lowe’s and you weren’t planning on it, but you run to Lowe’s to get the thing that you don’t have, and you come back and you bring it to the house and it doesn’t fit. It’s not the right size. So then you go back to Lowe’s and you ever walk in and they recognize you. All of a sudden they’re like, oh, hey, you were just here. And then you go back home and you have the wrong tool. So you got to go back to Lowe’s. And when they see you a third time, it’s not a head nod. It’s like a smirk. See you. And they almost moved to pity. Can we help you?

You look like you’re lost a little bit, and when you leave, then they’re taking bets. If you’re going to come back a fourth time, just me maybe, I don’t know. But the reason you get so frustrated and you’re in the kitchen or under the sink or whatever, and you’re like, oh, and you get back in the car and you drive to Lowe’s, it takes time. It’s time to get there, time to walk the aisle, time to check out, time to get back in the car, time to, and this project that you told your wife was going to take 40 minutes is now four hours, right? Like ladies, no. Yes. Okay, thank you. Talking to somebody takes more time.

SETBACKS MEAN MORE WORK

All right? Another reason setbacks are wretched is they mean more work like that hole out there. It ain’t going to dig itself. Someone’s got to do it.

That’s a military phrase, right? That hole ain’t going to dig itself. Got to get your entrenching tool. That hole ain’t going to dig itself and someone’s got to do the work. And that’s using my energy and it’s hard. I get dirty, I sweat, I get cuts, and then setbacks.

SETBACKS MEAN MORE HELP

Another reason we don’t like them is the last one I came up with is it means we need to ask for help. Now we’ve got to call a septic company to come get this septic tank. Now we’ve got to call consumers to come fix this power line. Or when we’re doing a project at home, you’re trying to do wiring and you call your father-in-law and you want to make sure that you’re not going to burn the house down If the white wire and the black, do I have that right? And you’re calling people to help you, that you weren’t planning and that nobody likes asking for help. You don’t like going to YouTube and looking for tutorials. You want to know how to do this on your own. It’s somehow a shot at our masculinity.

Now, if you look at that, somebody at the first service said, those are all four letter words. It’s true. We don’t like setbacks you guys. And that’s why cost takes time, it takes work, need help. And that’s like setbacks for construction, obviously. But it’s also setbacks. If you have a setback in your career or a relationship and you’re like, man, I’m working on our marriage. And it’s true in all of those areas of life, and it’s true in our faith. If you want to know why Christians are so un-Christlike, because setbacks are wretched, they cost us something, it takes time, it takes work, and we need help and vulnerability and a transparency and an effort that some days I just don’t. Got it.

There it is. Now, I promise to you, we would get into the practical, okay? We’ll get into the practical of, okay, well that’s true. Why? Thanks for the uplifting message. That’s true of why we have setbacks, but how do we get over this? How do we get beyond this?

SETBACKS HAVE A SOLUTION

And I do think that if we look at this reading in Romans, we find there are tips and tricks to helping us overcome these setbacks of not living the life that we want for ourselves, let alone the life God wants for us. And it is kind of buried. We got to think about it a little bit differently, but it’s buried in verse 19.

19 I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do, this I keep on doing.

                                                                                                                                          Romans 7

It says, “I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I don’t want to do” say it:

Response: “This I keep on doing.”

Pastor Cris Paavola: If you’re doing something and you keep on doing something over and over and again and again, what’s a word to summarize that phrase of you keep on doing it. What’s a word? It’s a

habit.

HABITS

And I don’t mean to water down sin. I don’t mean to water down the errors that Christians make and minimize it in any way by calling it a bad habit. But sin can be very habitual, habitual sin. It’s the sin you love to do. It’s delicious. It feels good. It’s your pet sin. It’s the thing that you keep going back to again and again. It’s a habit. We would call it a bad habit, but it’s a habit, especially if you keep on doing it, especially if you have this war, this wretched war going on and it fits a habit well, that proposes some interesting solutions.

HABITS AND FRICTION

All of a sudden, there’s a book I talk about all the time, you’ve probably heard me mention this, but it’s called Atomic Habits. It’s an unbelievable book, excellent book, and it’s all about stopping bad habits and starting good habits.

And he’s got something I think that helps us think about sin. That’s in his book. And he talks about thinking of habits and encouraging good habits and discouraging bad habits with this idea of friction. So increase the friction to the bad habits. You want to stop and decrease the friction of the good habits you want to start. So when you go to a grocery store, why do they put candy at the checkout line? Are they increasing the friction for you buying candy or are they decreasing the friction for you buying candy? Decreasing? They’re trying to make it as likely as possible that you will do something and you can apply that same science to the bad habits you want to stop and the good habits you want to start. So okay, here’s some examples that they give in the book, but he talks about if you have a habit of a bad habit of snacking late at night, well, increasing the friction would mean, well, first of all, don’t even buy the candy and you have to snack and you have to drive to the store to go get it late at night and you’re in your pajamas and you don’t want to leave the house.

Now you’ve increased the friction, but maybe that’s not realistic. You have kids and snacks, it’s not whatever. Well then put the snacks in the basement in the back shelf behind a storage bin, make it really difficult to go down the stairs, open the thing, and you’re having this self-talk the whole time. And then you got to take the storage bin out and get the Oreos and then put the storage, make it really difficult to do. Or you could also decrease the friction of the good habit you want. So I’ll reward myself with an Oreo after I go for my walk. And then you get done with a walk and you’re like, you know what? I don’t want to just put the calories back on. I’m not going to do it. And suddenly you’re dealing with the bad habit and the good habit with this idea of friction. Okay? Or another example. Let’s say you want to write in your journal and you want to write in your journal every day. Well, what’s the bad habit getting in the way? And you identify that it’s the tv. Okay, fine. Put the journal on top of the remotes. Now you’ve increased the friction of TV because you got to pick up the journal and put it away, but you’ve decreased the friction to journaling. Make it even easier. Open up to the blank page and put the pen on top.

And it’s just understanding this about our human nature. And we can take that same idea then and apply it to sin. Lemme give you some examples.

GOSSIP

Let’s say your sin is gossiping and it’s just, man, I love to gossip. Okay? That’s a sin. That’s a sin That’s not Christlike. It’s something that people look at you and be like, they’re not acting like a very good Christian right now. Okay? You’re gossiping. Well, the obvious one is stop calling the people who it’s easy to gossip with, but maybe that’s not realistic. So when you’re on the phone with them or when you’re out to get coffee with them, increase the friction and decrease the friction. Force yourself to give a compliment about the person that you want to gossip about. Compliment them first. Say something positive and not a backhanded one. I know what a backhanded compliment sounds like. I’m not even going to give examples. You know what I’m saying? She looks great. I could never pull that off. Anyway, something like that. But force yourself to give a compliment about the person before you say something bad about the person.

DRUNKENESS

Friction or let’s say drunkenness, man, I just can’t stop. Okay? We could go the same Oreo example, put the beers downstairs behind the storage bin, now they’re warm, and now you got to put it in the fridge and wait for it to warm up. That’s one thing you could do. But in AA, they talk about this. You can include people in the community because sometimes it’s an isolation thing. So call somebody you love who’s not just your accountability partner. Force yourself before I have a drink, I’m going to call someone I love, so I call mom or something like that. Or you can make it a health thing. I’m going to drink an entire glass of water before I have a drink, or I’m going to have an entire glass of water after. Just increase the friction and you’ll find yourself along the way of finding victory in this struggle with the sin of drunkenness.

PORNOGRAPHY

Okay, pornography, it’s getting really quiet in here, by the way.

Okay? There’s probably a gateway for it. Maybe it’s an app on your phone where people do dances, provocatively, and that becomes a gateway. Alright? We’ll delete the app, make it awkward where you have to install the app again to even get on the gateway app or use a browser and it’s not an easy experience in your phone. What are you doing? You’re increasing the friction and decrease in the friction. Or you can install an app that sends every website, you go to an accountability partner and now they see where you’ve been. That increases the friction and decreases the friction.

You can do this with any sin. You’re only limited by your creativity. And along the way, you’re finding victory over these setbacks. Now, there’s one other thing that I think James Clear in the book, atomic Habits.

IDENTITY

There’s one other thing he talks about that is just, man, this is all about the faith and just the Christian faith, and it’s that he contends that you are more likely to do habits when it’s a part of your identity. Okay? So for instance, instead of trying to think that the behavior makes the identity, he encourages you to start believing the identity and it changes the behavior so you don’t jog to become healthy. You are healthy. So you jog. Do you see the shift? And it’s a mindset shift. You want to be a writer. You don’t write every day a page every day to be a writer. No, you are a writer. So you write a page every day, and it’s this behavior. The habit flows out of an identity that you believe about yourself. And we can apply that same concept to the Christian faith. It’s not that I stopped gossiping because I want to be holy. No, I am holy. So I stop gossiping.

I speak well of people. I am holy. I have self-control with substances. I am righteous. I don’t look at that stuff instead of, this is a huge mindset shift. You guys, instead of trying to do something to become something, it’s you are something. So you do something, you’re not trying to become something you aren’t. You’re doing it because of something you are. It’s identity. And this isn’t just kumbaya. Well, wishful willpower thinking. This is scriptural. This is what we’ve been talking about with justification and sanctification. You aren’t becoming holy by doing these things. God looks at you in Jesus and says, you are holy. You are righteous. You are my child. I love you. You are beloved. I acts like it. And it’s a completely, this is the only religion in the world that does this. Every other religion in the world, you do these things to try to become something and earn God’s favor.

And Christianity alone, you have God’s favor. Now, go live a life worthy of the title you have received. And it’s all over scripture, including Romans seven that we’ve been reading. Look at how it ends when Paul says, what a wretched man I am who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death. Thanks be to God, not thanks to me that I finally kicked this habit and overcame this. No, thanks be to God who delivers me through Jesus Christ, our Lord. And then just a few sentences later, therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who have their identity in Christ Jesus.

Isn’t that powerful you guys? And I hope that you are able to just walk out of here with that identity in your mind as you struggle against that sin that trips you up and knocks your halo loose again and again and again. Remember who you are and live a life worthy of the calling you’ve received. And one of the ways that I read scripture, and I think this is powerful, this is, you can do this with any scripture, but one of the ways I really try to, when there’s a concept that’s like, ah, yeah, and I want to imprint it in my soul and remember it is you can take those words and tweak them and make it into a prayer like this.

What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from my sinful self? I thank you, God, for delivering me through Jesus Christ, my lord! I declare there is now no condemnation for me because I am found in Jesus Christ. Amen.

                                                                                                                          Romans 7: 24-25, 8:1

And actually guys, let’s just pray these words together as we close. So, we’re going to take that verse, and now we’re going to make it into a prayer and we pray together.

PRAYER

What a wretched man I am who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death.

I thank you God for delivering me through Jesus Christ, my Lord. I declare there is now no condemnation for me when I am found in Christ Jesus. Amen and amen.

We pray now the prayer Jesus taught us to pray, saying together:

Our Father who art in heaven,

Hallowed be thy name,

Thy kingdom come,

Thy will be done,

On earth as it is in heaven,

Give us this day our daily bread,

And forgive us our trespasses,

As we forgive those who trespass against us,

And lead us not into temptation,

But deliver us from evil,

For thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever and ever,

Amen.