Using Extreme Language

WELCOME

Pastor Chris Paavola:

Well, hey everybody. Good morning. Wonderful to be with you guys. My name is Chris Paavola. I’m a senior pastor at the single greatest church on Manus Road, and it’s wonderful to be with you today. I love the series after Easter. We often try to find and make something really practical to kind of demonstrate how the power of the resurrection still applies to today and how it changes our life and some of the practical ways that we live it out because he has risen good job, and this is just a way for us to live some of that out. And so I’m excited because today we’re going to be kicking off the series storyteller. That really is just a very practical series. So, if you’re new to church or you haven’t been in a while and you came at Eastern, you’re coming back. Thanks for being here.

Thanks for tuning online. Really, it’s a very practical series. The idea of storyteller and the premise behind the whole series is that we tend to become the stories we tell ourselves, that all of us are, we use certain words when we are describing our situation in conversation or in self-talk. There’s words that we use and those have a performative creative power to them. And if that sounds like some kind of pseudoscience or new age philosophy, I promise you this is something that’s been studied and researched again and again by people like in cognitive behavior therapy or in neuroplasticity, and are finding again and again that the words we use and the words we take in and listen to in music and in TV and in the conversation, they have a shaping power to our future. Because you can train your brain and it’s just important to keep that in mind.

And that doesn’t surprise me. This is how God made us. And when you open scripture and you look at the pages of scripture, there’s a lot that it talks about of guarding your words, being careful with your words. And we’re going to be talking about that in this series because it’s okay if life is good and life is going as you want it and life is abundant and just things are going well, that’s fine. But when things are bad, when things aren’t going well, when we find ourselves in negative thought patterns or we find ourselves in an addiction that we can’t break or we keep going back again and again into toxic relationships or there’s a broken relationship, one of the things we need to look at is the words we used to, are they shaping our reality? It’s one thing if you’re living in a comedy, but what if you’re in a tragedy?

It’s okay if everything’s a rom-com, okay, but what if it’s a horror story? And so in this series, we’re going to be taking, just analyzing the words we look at and just kind of taking an inventory of them and thinking about how we can maybe inject some faith into our conversations. And so in week three of our series, we’re going to be looking at this idea of listing disqualifiers. It’s a strange, that’s not normal language that we use, but just the way that we disqualify some of the things, the good things that come our way or the compliments we receive, we’ll talk about that. That’s awesome. Mother’s Day, it’d be a great topic for that day. And then week two, we’re going to be talking about assigning motives, the judgment calls that we make or the gaps that we fill in and the fiction we can end up writing when we’re dealing with other people. And then today we’re going to be talking about using extreme language is probably the best place for us to start is just the extreme words that we use for self-talk or to describe our situations. And I know that’s a little odd. Again, what do you mean extreme language? And I couldn’t help but think of an example from one of my favorite TV shows that just perfectly identifies the extreme language we’re going to be talking about. So, take a look.

VIDEO

Michael Scott:

My philosophy is basically this, and this is something that I live by and I always have, and I always will, and don’t ever, for any reason do anything to anyone for any reason, ever, no matter what, no matter where or who or who you are with or where you are going or where you’ve been ever for any reason whatsoever.

Sometimes I’ll start a sentence and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it along the way, like an improv conversation, an improvisation.

Pastor Chris Paavola:

Any office fans in the room. I mean, it’s always on. Yeah, exactly. I watch it all the time. There’s nothing on, there’s office is always on. If you don’t know, that’s Michael Scott. And that is a quintessential Michael Scott moment. And there is his beautiful, beautiful quote, worthy of being on a poster, hanging in an office somewhere. But Michael Scott in this conversation or in this quote, uses extreme language and I’ll point it out here. I’ll just highlight the extreme words. It’s part of the humor. It’s always, ever anything, anyone, no matter what, no matter where, ever any reason whatsoever, what he’s doing is using the extreme language. He’s going to the furthest extremes and eliminating all possibilities. And we do this in conversation as a way of condensing our feelings and trying to exaggerate things and make an emphasis make a point. And so we’ll often go for the low shelf words to just because nuance is difficult and actually using extreme language is lazy.

And Michael Scott is probably not somebody who’s very good at embracing nuance and the gray, and there’s a black and a white that he always is living by. But the reason we laugh at it, the reason Michael Scott makes us chuckle is because there’s a hint of truth to it. We see this and we hear this from people and ourselves.

EXAMPLES OF EXTREME LANGUAGE

Let me give you some examples of every day, like real life examples of extreme language that we use. Okay? So, for instance, they’ll never change. This is what we’ll use to describe or talk about somebody in our life who is constantly letting us down, constantly agitating and irritating us. That’s who they are. They’re never going to change. That’s just who they are. They’re never going to change. I’ll hear this one and counseling. When I’m counseling a couple and the spouses are talking about each other or I’m talking to one person about other people in their lives, and that’s just who that they’ll never change.

Really, really never. You probably have 18 years of examples of them fulfilling that prophecy. And you’re probably right, but never, you can just eliminate the entire future possibilities. I mean, if you open the Bible, don’t you read the stories of people who have remarkable life change after they encounter God really never change. I don’t think that’s true. How come the people in your life would be exempt from God doing something incredible? Here’s another one. This always happens. So this is like your car breaks down and this always happens to me. Or you end up, you start a relationship with someone and they cheat on you again. You’re like, this always happens. Really? Are you sure?

Don’t you have examples of people not betraying you in your life? You have examples of your car working always. Really. Here’s another one. Everything is ruined. Everything is ruined. A bride plans a wedding like a beautiful wedding, and the microphone doesn’t work at one moment and everything is ruined. You’re like, no, no, no, no, no. The wedding was still gorgeous. Your loved ones were still here. It’s just that the microphone didn’t work. Not everything is ruined. The bad thing happening or that one moment didn’t negate or take away all the other things that happened around it. Your date night was still okay. Even if you were arguing with your kids before you left, it doesn’t mean the date night is ruined. You’re still on a date with each other. Everything is not ruins. Okay? Another one. I can’t do this. So I love in schools now, they teach the power of yet, and my kids have all said this to me, the power of, yet, I can’t play trumpet yet. The power of yet. You’re right. You can’t play trumpet right now. You’re terrible. But if you practice for a year, I bet you’ll be better. But you see how eliminating that phrase, I can’t do this is well, why even try? I can’t.

Yesterday I was putting henna tattoo on my daughter and I was trying to squeeze it. She asked me to, and I was squeezing it and I couldn’t do it. I’m like, I can’t do this. And she goes, what do you mean you can’t do this? Keep trying. Why are you giving up? And I’m like, okay, you’re right, right? Okay. She’s sitting right there. That’s what I thought of that. All right, this next one. This is the worst. This is the worst. This is like a phrase we use nowadays, right? It’s kind of a catch for on Friday, we were at the playground with my daughter, seven. They keep growing. Anyway, she’s seven and we’re at the playground, everything’s great, and then it starts raining, and I’m like, we got to come in from the outside. Come on, let’s go. We got to go. It’s starting to rain. That was lightning. And she comes into the car and she says, the worst day ever. I’m like, honey, hold on. It could get worse.

I promise it could get worse. And I promise you’ve had worse days than this. This is not the worst day ever. Let’s not exaggerate. But it’s funny because we don’t ever stop doing that even if when we’re not seven. All right, next one, everyone is saying it’s, you’ll hear this one. If you work in hr, anyone, like in hr, right? People will come into your office and complain about what’s happening, and they’re saying, well, this is what everyone is saying, really? Everyone or just you and the three miserable people you got together with and griped about. You just griped and just complained about the way things were. Yeah, you guys were saying it, but not everyone. Everyone’s not saying it. And when people say this, what they’re trying to do is bolster their argument to make it stronger than it really is. It’s a shell. Everyone’s not saying it. Okay? And then last one, last one. There we go. Nobody cares. I actually saw this on a bumper sticker this week, so I included it on this list. A guy had a bumper sticker that said, nobody cares. I was like, wow, what a worldview that you want to put out there and be reminded of every day in traffic.

Think about that. Then Maybe he’s being positive, maybe he’s like, put yourself out there. Shoot your shot, because it doesn’t matter. So, take that chance. Nobody’s going to be judging you or remember or know who you are later on. Maybe they’re putting a positive spin on it, but I have a hunch that they’re putting a negative spin on it. Nobody cares. So, stop complaining. I don’t want to hear it. Stop writing your Facebook post novel. I’m not going to read it. Nobody cares. I think that’s what they were. But now think about that. Nobody cares. Really, that gets to the value of life. If you think about that as a worldview, it gets the value of human life. Nobody cares. Come on. I promise you, if you’re here right now, if you’re watching online, you hear the sound of my voice, somebody cares. Somebody cares. Now keep that list up there. Look at that. That’s the danger of extreme language and why we need to talk about it, because there’s two things that stand out to me when I look at that list. First of all, look at how negative it is. It’s so negative.

Pessimism, negativity, just teaming in every letter of that. The second thing I notice, how hard would it be to live the full and abundant life that God wants for you to live a life that’s positive and encouraging and full of hope? If that’s the ink you spill on tomorrow’s page, come on. And this is why we have to talk about this, you guys. This is why we need to do a series called Storyteller, because if you want to write a different story, you have to use different words. It is huge.

JESUS AS A STORYTELLER

And it just so happens in this account that we just heard read about Jesus healing this nameless father’s son, there’s an example of extreme language, and Jesus introduces a new word that we miss unless we look at it through the lens of being a storyteller. So, as we look at this account again together very briefly, I’m not going to read the whole thing.

I’m just going to pull out a few sentences to make this point. You’re going to be equipped with a new word today that you could begin using, so you can write a different story. Now, refresh your memory. There’s a man, a father whose son is possessed by an evil spirit, and whether he is possessed or oppressed, which is two different things, I realize that that’s just like, whoa, what are you talking about? That sounds like the supernatural thing that is in Hollywood or whatever. And we could talk about it some other time. We’ve talked about it before. It’s a real thing. We believe it’s a real thing, but that the greater is the one who’s with us and the one who is against us and our God wins. That’s kind of the end of the story there. I’d like to summarize it, but I don’t want to be distracted by kind of the supernatural going on in the story from some very everyday normal applications that are in this text.

So, this father brings his son to the disciples for them to try to heal him and cast out this evil spirit. And the disciples at this point have been given authority by Jesus to do wonderful things in the name of God. And so, they’re healing other people. And this man thinks, well, maybe the disciples can help my son. And you can hear in this story if you just think about it because it’s an extreme situation. What are the extreme words? This father uses the extreme language this father uses to describe this to his disciples. This always happens. Nobody can do anything about it.

We’re hopeless. And then when the disciples struggle and they’re trying to heal this boy and they can’t, Jesus comes and enters the chat, right? He enters the scene, he’s somewhere else, and he walks in and he asks them what’s going on?

21 …..if you can do anything, take pity on us” Mark 9

And this nameless father runs up to Jesus and asks for help and take a look at what he says. If you can do anything, take pity on us and help us. This is how destitute and despondent and despairing this man is, that he is not ashamed to beg. The only appeal he makes to Jesus is not. My son deserves this, not I’m a good man, not. I do a lot of good things to the community. He goes right to the bottom, scrapes the bottom, and makes an appeal to Jesus. Pity, pity me. I’m appealing to your pity. Help full of extreme language.

23 “If you can?” said Jesus. “Everything is possible for one who believes”  Mark 9

And then Jesus picks up on this just very conversational way of talking. Jesus picks up on this and says to him, if you can, if you can, everything is possible for the one who believes.

And there it is. If you have a Bible with you, you brought a Bible with you, please highlight that line from Jesus. It’s so good because in that line, he introduces, if you look now, he introduces a new word into this man’s hopeless vocabulary. Believe if you believe anything is possible, and in doing so believe he introduces notice what he does. He takes this man from the furthest extreme of that nothing will help, nobody can help. We’ve tried everything. And he brings it to the other furthest extreme to what is possible. He goes from scarcity and poverty to abundance, from impossible to possible, from man’s limitation to God’s limitless power with one word, belief.

24 Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, Mark 9

It’s powerful. And notice that the man immediately embraces this new word and employs it immediately.

24 “Lord, I believe. Help my disbelief!”  Mark 9

PRAYING A NEW WORD

He’s like, all right, you give me that word. I’m going to use that word because he responds, Lord, I believe, help my unbelief. And again, if you have your Bible with you, highlight that that is a phrase worth memorizing. Mark nine, verse 24, “Lord, I believe, help my unbelief.” That is the most beautiful, just gorgeous phrase. Because what he’s doing is he’s like embracing. He’s a sinner and a saint. He’s human weakness and God’s power and strength all in one phrase. Lord, I believe, help my unbelief, and I love that anyone can say this because if you look at it, it’s a prayer, Lord, I believe help my unbelief, and I love that anyone can say this, the faithful person who believes God capable of everything. You woke up this morning, you were fasting and praying.

You drove here to church, and you were blaring praise music as you were driving here. You can pray that prayer, but so can the person who is just barely got here this morning. It took everything within you. You’re about to give up hope. You can pray this prayer too. If you’re the skeptic, the doubter, you’re not sure what you believe about God, you can pray this prayer too. Everybody, I love this line. And as I’ve been talking this morning about extreme language, your mind has gone to extreme situations in your life, the moments in your life where you identify with this nameless father, where you feel despondent, where you despair, where you feel like nobody cares, nobody can help. And we’ve tried everything and all hope is lost. So, I want you right now to just think of what it is as I’m describing it. And for some of you, it’s very easy. You know exactly what I’m describing.

Embrace that situation and that circumstance in your mind, and let’s pray together these beautiful words from this desperate Father,

All: Lord, I believe help my unbelief.

Pastor Chris Paavola: And you just called him Lord, master ruler. You are acknowledging in that title, his sovereign power over your circumstance. Say it again, my friends,

All: Lord, I believe help my unbelief.

Pastor Chris Paavola: You believe he’s the God who made heaven and earth. You believe He’s the God who walked on water and rose from the grave. And you believe he’s the God of the impossible even in your situation. So, pray it again, my friends, Lord, I believe, help my unbelief. You’re acknowledging your doubts. You’re acknowledging your skepticism that anything can change. You’re acknowledging that there is a pattern again and again and again and your life, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Lord, I believe, help my unbelief.

RETELLING THE STORY

Wow. And the boy is healed and the crowd eventually disperses and the disciples go into this house in this area. We don’t quite know where it is, and they’re resting and eating and just getting a break from all of the day’s activities.

28 After Jesus had gone indoors, his disciples asked him privately, “Why couldn’t we drive it out?” 29 He replied, “This kind can come out only by prayer.” Mark 9

 And the disciples ask Jesus, why couldn’t we cast it out? Why couldn’t we do anything about this? And Jesus responds, this kind can come out only by prayer.

So interesting. I believe in the power of prayer. My friends, I’ve seen prayer work just like in this story, instantaneous miracles. But they’re miracles because they’re exceptional. They’re rare. More often, I’ve seen prayer work in the slow and gradual change.

And I believe there are people this morning who prayed that prayer. And you are going to see an instantaneous change in your circumstance. I do. I also believe there are people who prayed that prayer this morning, and it’s going to be a slow and gradual change. But a year from now, maybe longer, you’re going to look around and things are going to be different in that otherwise impossible situation. And when people ask you what happens when people ask you, how did you get here? What was the change? Don’t forget to give credit where credit is due.

This change only came about by prayer. And make sure when you’re telling the story about this incredible change in your life to include this moments this morning when you prayed, Lord, I believe, help my unbelief and everything started to change. There was a shift. Don’t forget to include this moment. I mean, including the important details is a really important part of being a good storyteller. Lemme pray for us.

PRAYER

Heavenly Father, I want to acknowledge the wound that I’ve been poking, the sore that I’ve reopened this morning in the room. And so many lives here. I don’t do so lightly, but we bring these things up. God, our finances, our relationships, our addictions that we can’t break. We bring these things up, believing that you can do the impossible in these situations. Forgive us, God for finishing the script that you haven’t finished writing yet, and for our doubt, and we stand with this desperate father and say, Lord, I believe help my unbelief.

And we just ask for your continued healing and divine power at work within us, in Jesus’ name. As we prayed together the prayer he taught us to pray, saying, our Father, who arts in heaven, hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever and ever. Amen and amen.