Disqualifying the Positive

WELCOME

Pastor Chris Paavola:

It’s true, it’s true. To write a different story, you have to use different words we’re going to be talking about today everybody. My name is Chris Paavola. Good to be with you. Good morning. Good morning. Yeah, wonderful to be with you guys actually on this Mother’s Day weekend and hashtag Mother’s Day 2025. Thank you guys for including us in your plans. Whatever your plans are today, it’s exciting to be with you, man. And so moms, we pray that you’re encouraged today, that you feel cherished because you are. And then we also recognize that today can be a tinge of pain today for multiple reasons that today can be a bittersweet day as well. And so if that’s you, we hope that you feel comforted and encouraged today as well. One of my favorite names of God in the Old Testament, there’s two names that he’s called, he’s called the God who sees and he’s called the God who hears.

And I think that’s important to remember that when you’re feeling the way you’re feeling today, if today at all has a tinge of pain, that God sees you and God hears you and knows what you’re going through. So thank you again guys, for being here and just celebrating with us today. Actually, this is like a Mother’s Day weekend really. We’ve had a lot of activities on campus. On yesterday we had, I don’t even know what number, that wasn’t quite 200 ladies, but a bunch of ladies got together for our annual Mother’s Day event that we do to be encouraged and reminded who God made them to be and just to just celebrate with each other and with each other. And then on Friday we had our Muffins with Mom event, the OWC. And so all these moms got together and just had a great time to just be celebrated.

And so, when the kids would get their little muffins and their juice and everything, and they’d walk to the table and then they would present crafts that they made them. And you would hear oohs and ahs and all the crafts always have these, there’s always a hand print, there’s always a hand print. There’s always a hand print. And that’s really hard to do with babies, by the way, to pry their fingers and to get them to do that. So our teachers are amazing, but they did these little hand print things.

MOTHERS DAY EXAMPLES

And then I got on my newsfeed, I was just scrolling on social media and I saw some other hand print crafts that made me laugh, but not for quite the same reason. Take a look at this. This is a card that a kid named Joshua made, and it’s all cute until you see how old Joshua is.

He’s 32 years old. So a 3-year-old decided to go back and make a hand print craft. And I thought, that’s pretty, did you actually do that? Is that something okay? Whatever. Anyway, so hand print craft, they sent me down this rabbit trail of just all of these other funny Mother’s Day gifts. Like this one guy, he decided to take Mother’s Day to make a cake for mom to let her know he hasn’t forgotten when she forgot him at the video store, mother’s Day, we could celebrate that. And then if you ever go to CVS or Walgreens, especially if you do it today and you for a card, you’re out of luck. There is no cards. And so you have to get creative like this guy did. And he used it as an opportunity to thank her for not making meatloaf. But maybe you’re not crafty.

One thing you can do, little pro tip here, okay? You can go to Walgreens or CVS and get a card for something else and retrofit it to Mother’s Day, like this engagement card. This kid said, well, thank you. Congratulations on your engagement 28 years ago that eventually led you to being my mother. The worst part is, is he addressed the card. To whom it may concern, might I suggest writing mom on the card instead? That’d be a better thing to do. And the reason we laugh is it kind of gets to this lingering feeling out there that, well, they feel obligated to get me a card. They had to do something for me. It felt like this is perfunctory. They felt obligated.

STORYTELLER SERIES

And that is exactly what we’re talking about today as we continue our series storyteller. So in this series we’ve been talking about how our words and our thoughts have this performative power to create our world, and that we tend to become the stories we tell ourselves.

And that’s good when things are going great, but when things are not going well, when things are less than ideal, when our relationships are toxic or we just find ourselves in situations that are just broken, one of the things we can do to troubleshoot the situation is take and assess well, what kind of words and what kind of language do I allow into my life? And what kind of language do I use when I’m describing things? And so week one we talked about using extreme language, negative extreme language. They can’t, and they always, and we talked about how God offers us this alternative word called faith that brings us to the possible of the positive extreme of what he could do. And then in week two, we talked about assigning motives to people. They do that because they’re lazy. They said that because they’re greedy or they’re jealous.

That’s why they didn’t assigning these motives. And you might be right, but God interjects this new word into our vocabulary called compassion. And we talked about the nuance of that word and what it means. It’s a rich word, and inject that into our vocabulary. Today we’re talking about when moms will say, well, they had to get me a Mother’s Day card, mother’s Day. They don’t really feel that way. We’re talking about disqualifying the positive.

DISQUALIFYING THE POSITIVE

And at first, we’re like, oh yeah, that’s just kind of happens every once in a while. But the more you think about it, the more pervasive you realize this is. And how this isn’t just limited to moms. There’s all sorts of scenarios. They had to say, I’m handsome. They’re my mom. They had to tell me I’m beautiful. They’re my husband.

I made the sale at work. But it’s not because a good salesman, the market’s hot right now. It doesn’t really matter. I would’ve made the sale anyway. Or That wasn’t that hard to fix. Anyone can do it. I’m not that special. You start to listen for it and you’re like, Ooh, it’s out there a whole lot more when your radar is tuned to it and you listen to just this negative. And I don’t need to tell you what happens when you start to allow this negative self-talk and inner dialogue to have this critical spirit of any good that comes your way. And then you start to have this worldview where, well, I don’t. I’m not really that valuable. And then the more you allow this pattern of thinking, it lowers your self-esteem that lowers and decreases the opportunities that you expose yourself to and the way you put yourself out there.

And that affects your choices that you make. And then all of a sudden you look around and you’re living a life that’s less than this full abundant life that you want for you. And I would say that God wants for you.

RENEWING THE MIND

And so, we got to call this out. And one of the things that I think is worth calling out is that this is not just a relational issue or an emotional issue or a mental issue. This is actually what’s going on is a spiritual issue. And I didn’t say that. The Apostle Paul talks about this in his letter to Romans.

2 Do not conform to the pattern of the world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12

He’s writing this letter to a group of Christians in Rome and in Romans chapter 12 verse two, he says, do not conform to the pattern of this world. And yes, that’s our behavior. Yes, that’s our actions and our morality, but that also includes our thoughts, a point he makes next be transformed by the renewing of your say it, mind.

Response: Mind

Pastor Chris Paavola: Mind y’all. Be transformed by the renewing of your mind. The thoughts that you entertain and that you take in and the words you allow be transformed from this pattern of the world. So if there’s a pattern, red, blue, red, blue, red, blue, red, blue, green, interject something new into this thought, it’s not just this mental and emotional and relational issue, it’s a spiritual one. There’s something spiritual going on and he goes, then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is his good, pleasing and perfect will. But it’s a spiritual issue going on. And I don’t think we make that connection very often between our thoughts and the spiritual thing going on, but it absolutely is.

MERITOCRACY

So, let’s look at these phrases again. Some of these disqualifying the positive phrases and kind of call out the spiritual things going on. Take a look.

THEY HAD TO DO THAT ANYONE CAN DO THIS I’M NOBODY SPECIAL

We can look at that and see the mental, emotional, relational consequences to that. But think about the spiritual M.O. going on, the modus operandi, the worldview, the framework that you’re using, the spiritual one. If you look at that through a spiritual lens, suddenly things come out. The first one being is if you look at that, you know what I see?

Legalism, you’re being a legalist. When you’re critical of yourself, you’re being a legalist. What do I mean? I mean that what is legalism? It’s this meritocracy that there’s something I can do to earn favor and value and importance. A meritocracy may work in a business, it might work as an economy, but it’s a terrible way to have a marriage. This is what you can do for me. This is the value that I can. And you know what legalism does? It looks at you and thinks of what can I take from you? That’s not what love does, love thinks. What can I give of myself freely? And it’s not trying to earn a standing with others. Think about love and a relationship. You’re saying, I love you for who you are. Yes, you add value to my life, but I love you for who you intrinsically are you uniquely and wonderfully you. I love you apart from what you can do for me. And in all of those statements, it’s legalism at work not love. It’s saying there’s something I can do to earn favor or there’s something I haven’t done yet to make myself valuable and worthwhile. And that gets to the second thing.

LIES

If I look at this through a spiritual lens, you know what I see?

It’s lying. These are lies. If it’s a half truth, it’s still a lie. They had to say that. No, they didn’t. Anyone can do this. I know it’s easy for you to fix a P trap. That’s the thing under your sink. And everyone who didn’t know what that was, can’t do it. You did it. You’re good at it. Not everyone can do that. I promise you. There are people who can’t. I’m not that special. You are one of the 8 billion people like the ticker just passed 8 billion on our planet of the 8 billion people on our planet, and of all the billions of people who ever were, there’s no one. You are unique. Scripture says, you are fearfully and wonderfully made. You are teaming overflowing with special.

And if we see those as lies, well that ain’t from God. And John eight biography of Jesus in chapter eight, Jesus is talking to the Pharisees and he says, your father is the devil. And they’re like, come again. And he says, because you’re lying. He is the father of lies. When he speaks, he lies. When he speaks a lie, it’s his native tongue. That’s what he says. And so if it’s a lie and you’re saying it or hearing it or speaking it to yourself and then from God, that’s where we get to this idea of there’s a conflict between good and evil, light and dark heaven and hell, God and the father of lies. And when Jesus comes on the scene, first of all, we believe God’s word is true. It’s the truth. And Jesus, we believe He’s the word made flesh. The word of God made flesh who dwells among us, and he calls himself the truth. And everyone who believes me belongs to the truth.

THINK ON SUCH THINGS

So said, yeah, it’s more than a physical or mental or emotional or relational issue. It’s a spiritual one. That’s why God calls it out. And that’s why we have to call it out. And actually Paul speaks to this truth right away and this very prescriptive thing, this very prescriptive passage. If you brought your Bible with you, this is a great verse to highlight. Philippians chapter four, verse eight.

8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things. Philippians 4

So, I’ll give you guys a second to turn there, but Philippians four, verse eight, and in this section, this is worth highlighting. This is worth memorizing. Paul tells us, instead of thinking about these lies and these half-truths, instead of thinking this legalistic approach to life and dwelling on disqualifying the positive, think on these things. And he writes, finally, brothers and sisters, whatever’s true, whatever’s noble, whatever’s right, whatever’s pure, whatever’s lovely, whatever’s admirable. If anything is excellent or praiseworthy, say it.

Response: Praiseworthy

Pastor Chris Paavola: Thank, think about such things instead, here’s what I know. I know all of y’all, even if you had the best of intentions, you would leave here and it would be hard for you to take the time to do this Mother’s Day, right? You got brunch or I guess at this point, it’s like the late brunch, lunch, whatever we go, we buy hot potted, hanging plants and plants for our window boxes. That’s what we do on Mother’s Day. So you got plans, you got plans for today, and then I know tomorrow is like a busy week. You got a busy week in front of you. And so even if you have the best of intentions, you’re probably not going to take the time to do this if I asked you to. So I figured, you know what? Let’s just make sure as many of us as possible to this, let’s actually stop and do this, okay

TAKE A MOMENT

We’re going to stop and do what Paul asks us to do. And I want you to think on such things. And so let’s start. Think on whatever is true, the truth of God, what’s true of him, not the lies that you believe about yourself. What’s true of him and true of you because of him.

Think on such things, whatever is noble, and this idea of admirable or worth pursuing. What is worth pursuing? Think on such things, not the scarcity and the things that you can’t or shouldn’t do. No, no, no. What are the things that you should pursue? The good things. Think on such things just for a moment. Think on whatever is right, as in righteous and just things that are just in the world. Things that are righteous and holy in your life. Think on such things. Think on whatever is pure, whatever is uncorrupted, holy God pleasing. Think on such things for just a moment.

What are they for you? Whatever is lovely beauty. What’s the last thing that you piece of music that just sent you into just the serene place, the sunset that you saw your kids coloring at the kitchen table. Beauty, lovely. Just take a moment and think on such things. What is admirable? Just admirable? The character traits that you admire in others that are worth pursuing for yourself. What are the admirable things in others and in the life of Jesus that you want for you think on such things, what are they? And if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, what has God done for you? What has God done for you in Christ? Sending his son to live a perfect life, die your death in your place and that you might live with him forever in his place? What has God done for you? What are the miracles that you’ve received in your life?

Think on such things. The things that just make you praise him.

GRATITUDE

I don’t know about you, but when I take the time to do this, immediately my heart is filled with gratefulness and I want to say, thank you, Lord. Thank you Lord. Can you guys say that with me?

Response: Thank you, Lord.

Pastor Chris Paavola: Here’s why that’s important. Gratitude felt but not expressed comes across as in gratitude. Your spirit within you wants to say Thank you Lord. And you just gave utterance. You spoke new words into your vocabulary. You began to say and speak a different story for your life. And actually that’s kind of our word for today. Week one, we’ve talked about faith, and week two we talked about compassion. And here in week three, gratitude. Gratitude is a powerful word to begin to into your world. It is transformative because now instead of disqualifying the positive, what are you doing?

You’re qualifying the positive. And now I need to tell you, okay, so let’s play this out. Let’s tease this out. If disqualifying the positive leads you to a low self-esteem and erodes your confidence, and then it limits the amount of things that you put yourself out there for, and then it robs you of the life that God wants for you, the full and abundant life, well then qualifying the positive does the opposite. It builds you up and increases your self-esteem and your sense of self-worth. Then you put yourself out there because you believe you are who he says you are. And you can do and he can do what he says he can do. We just sang about that. And then you start to make different choices and you start to live the full and abundant life that God wants for you all because you dared to speak and express the gratitude you felt.

There’s an author who was writing on a book on gratitude. I thought these words were awesome, but gratitude doesn’t just make us feel better in the moment. It rewires our brain. We’ve talked about you can train your brain, right? It rewires our brain to be more optimistic and open to new possibilities. Researchers have found that consciously focusing on what we’re thankful for and expressing, it reduces stress hormones like cortisol by up to 23%. It reduces your blood pressure, improves sleep, which in effect improves posture and physical fitness and even strengthens your immune system. What it’s like a daily vitamin for the soul. When we express gratitude, we’re more likely to connect with others, build stronger relationships, find meaning in our life. It’s not about ignoring the negative, it’s choosing to see the good alongside it and expressing it.

Here you go, my friends. It’s almost like, call me crazy that God designed us to give thanks. That there’s an intelligent designer behind all of this who wants you to have a physical heart of gratitude. And I think that’s what it means for us to become better storytellers.

PRAYER

Lemme pray for us. Heavenly Father, I thank you for every person in here. And Lord, we’re just at this moment feeling convicted that we’ve been ungrateful and we haven’t expressed our gratitude, but also just we’ve allowed our mind to think on we’ve things that are not from you. And so Lord, we ask for your forgiveness and that you would renew our minds, transform the pattern of thinking that we have, beginning with our gratitude. Just help us Lord, to think on such things. Whatever is pure, lovely, praiseworthy, excellent, admirable, right? So help us think on such things. In the name of Jesus we pray, amen.